Imagine going to a concert. After hearing the music, think about only just moving your head from side to side – not moving your body, at all in the process. It's difficult to even think of this, isn't it? So to apply this to the topic at hand, it's just as difficult to imagine that this is how some of us feel our own feelings – from our head only, while excluding that information from our bodies. Many people do this more often than you think.
If you stay in the "Intellect" about feelings you become more intellectual, NOT emotionally intelligent.
Emotional intelligence has been said to be what more than 90% of the world population are lacking.
Emotional intelligence gives a person a deep understanding of the world, approving ideas and behaviors, and stopping inappropriate ones. In addition, emotional intelligence is the only form of intelligence that is able to solve social and personal problems, as well.
While intelligence reflects our abilities to problem solve, emotional intelligence decides how wisely these abilities are engaged, directed, and applied.
I know it seems like I am giving this topic of emotional intelligence a lot of coverage, but the truth is that it directly relates to what I hold true in my own sales career, and spoke greatly about in my book "Rethinking Sales". Forming, creating and nurturing relationships are really the "kryptonite" of how much sales power and success we will have. Therefore, the better you understand yourself, how you handle life situations, etc., the better you can then be receptive and open to understanding and being in tune with each and every person that you meet – everyday.
Here's another interest piece of information. I have come to find out that there is a small structure in the limbic region of the brain, the amygdala, which is the center of your emotional brain. All incoming sensory information—sights, sounds, smells, sensations—pass through the amygdala where they are instantly analyzed for their "emotional value" before going to the cerebral cortex for processing. It's been found that challenges that don’t lead to overwhelming stress may stimulate the growth of new brain cells. Stem cells are found in the amygdala, suggesting a relationship between emotional challenges and the development of new cells throughout life,
Brain imaging resources—including electroencephalogram (EEG), quantitative EEG studies (QEEG), positron emission tomography (PET), single photon emission computed tomography (SPECT) and MRI (fMRI)—are helping people understand how experience affects the communicating and function of information within the brain.
It's been found that the experience that has the most influence on the developing brain is that which we get through close relationships.
Every piece of data is said to be "infused" by the amygdala with an emotional charge – and if they are strong enough, that charge can override reasoned thinking and logic.
Meanwhile the neocortex – in the prefrontal lobes just behind the forehead – is working to control feelings in order to re-evaluate situations and deal with them more effectively. It functions like a "strategy master", planning and organizing actions toward a goal. When an emotion is activated, within moments the prefrontal lobes analyze possible actions and choose the best alternative.
So while emotional intelligence relies on the warp-speed reactions of the amygdala, it relies even more on the management skills of the neocortex (and we all know the importance of good and proper management).
Having high emotional intelligence doesn't mean that you never panic or lose your temper. It does mean that you bring your feelings under control and channel them into productive behavior.
It is said that it is through our childhood conditioning and our culture that we learn to "intellectualize" our feelings. Every piece of data is said to be "infused" by the amygdala with an emotional charge – and if they are strong enough, that charge can override reasoned thinking and logic.
Now, being a guy – many of us guys know that we have some issues with expressing our feelings. But thanks to my psychology majoring wife who has graciously shared all of this info with me, a lot of the information on this topic does in fact make sense. And, as she has told many people, I am the main reason she chose to major in psychology. She is the "touchy" "feely" and emotional person, and I am all business. For us, the combination of the two works – but only because we look for ways to bring them both together, or rather, I've been shown, by her, the benefits of doing so. One without the other is a relationship that will go no where. This is at the core of emotional intelligence – when your emotions and your intellect come together – with one not overpowering the other.
I will be doing one more blog on this topic giving specific information on how to develop emotional intelligence, and will then go on to other topics for selling strong. I hope that this information shows you how much impact one thing in life has on another – and that the better we all understand the dynamic of people, the easier the selling process will be.
The Human Brain is a Work-in-Progress
- the brain is always capable of changing
- the brain is especially open to change through relationship
- experience can override genetic predisposition
- new experience can create circuitry that overrides past experience
Forge a strong arsenal of selling tools in your sales strategy. Continue to learn and grow and perfect all of your skills DAILY. Always stay open to the power the mind has, using it to its fullest to reap you the rewards and goals you work so hard to achieve.